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Smile, "Old Me" (2016)

Old me, 2016 

A smile can hide it? 

I fight this 
This feeling 
No, I can't deny it 

Deep up inside 
I try 
Please... won't you stand by 
Even when I know it's nothing but lies 
Deceived, but try and try 
Continue until I 
Find my...
"A reason to put it all on the line"

Met a girl so descent, I believed it
Never 
tore me to pieces 
Never
left me on my weakest
just peaking 
We were a team 
She kept me from the sheets and never
left me on the deep end

This is it
This is that feeling 
My one in a million 
Every word 
I hoped that she meaned it

Gave me maybe one, two reasons 
Then she promised
I thought that she keep it 

but all that changes as I'm watching her leaving 

(Exhale)

Now... try to have that Re-winding 
All in your mind
Piling 
Life's a bitch
So I got tired of minding mine and my kindness 

(Deep breath)

cause really ....
I'm not fine 

Oh, thinking these thoughts of being so strong 
or even too soft is just too wrong 

No,
I'm never losing you 
Do everything to keeping us two 
Forever in love 
Things that couples just do 
(Yeah) Forever just us

Whether this is true or false
You do evolve

It's a cold road with no one 
oh, I loathe those souls 
who have those to hold em
while I'm all by my lonesome!

so I built these fences 
but it's worth every second 
Do my best, I'm left with 
People just guessing

Thinking I''mmm on my own 
Crying and alone 

This is the evil that people 
seek to make us feel low  
which digs dip 
hurts deeper than the deepest needle

like that when we stare deep into a mirror 
but not think beauties in here
even when its looking at you ever so clear   

They want me slipping on me being the victim 
This plot it thickens 
I'm sick of this picture 
I'm ready to get rid of 
cause I know I'm given every second to winnin'

 (Inhale) 

As they think they left me in a hiccup 
Oh, I'm really blessed in this mix up 
Where I'm headed i envision 
The best with no regrets is the mission 

Only work with a passion 
To learn from my bad 
and those who I'm clashing with
I know will continue to happen 
and with my next step I'll lead with that one 
Then leave when they ask 

(oh, ohhh) Do you love me? 
(Do you)
Do you trust me 
It's all or nothing 
If you ain't falling your hurting 
Why don't you stop and learn from 
instead of crawling to another....
person?

People say love is a language
with Cupids touch is contagious 
Aiming at us and those we love 
I say might be a mistake

Oh, thinking these thoughts of being so strong 
or even too soft is just too wrong

I wish i could pause or stop this

How did I get lost in?!
Everything it costed!
and the feeling of hitting the bottom was sure 
But just when I thought it got worse
I kept falling 

Feeling boxed in
Especially late nights waiting for your call and 
Feeling neglected 
Late nights texting 
Hoping you read my message has got me stressing 
Thinking, left me to guess if 
You left me and onto next (*itch! )

(Exhale) 

But it ain't never enough

and this love...

All of it and everything's got my trust on its knees is kcuf  
I hate who I was
Everything I give just isn't enough 
Hate that I still 
                      Love you so much                       

 "You have not found something to live for        
Until you have found something to die for

 What are you living for?"  @deeplife.id 

Comments

  1. Curiosity WritesOctober 1, 2018 at 6:46 PM

    So this piece i wanted to bring an old me and with an old me is old feelings. Kind of was hard resurfacing through this and in the picture are old letters I had discovered in one of my boxes I had with me on the move, and in any relationship its hard to let go. I feel you lose a piece of yourself and that piece, that essence goes with that person you had made a connection with. I believe that's why we say its special. Any one of us can tap into these feelings, it's always and forever there, but we grow from it, and no matter what drove you apart, "hate, resentment, cheating, unhappiness" That love will always be there, but we continue to not let it affect us because we have learned from it. Now I'm happy, so I say with looking back cause the memories are all that I have, "Smile, ""Old Me"" (2016)" cause from love we grow... as well as hate.

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