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Thoughts… on My New Heaven

Thoughts to prove 


Thoughts to prove 

to me (myself and I)


While… this pandemonium WAVES over inside 


Metanoia, 

Metanoia, I confide 


Which light you pick’s the road your in 


See growth, I’m fixed 

Yet, my mind keeps on wondering 


Ohh, am I worth dying for? 

Put it all on the line for 


Put it all on the line


This light ON-the-inside 

is aNOTHER war 


“But what’s it for? “


to see if you’ll truly win my heart 

Mmm-mm-‘mmm


and there I’m judged 

by my skin & scars as there I looked closer 


I’m picked apart 

by the inner works of my words & emotions


I need to release it 

as I have this need to BE forgiven 


as these sins followed me, making me dormant, I cut corners 

Oh, I need to rid this poison 

Yet, I know

somehow, some way… 

imma reminisce these choices 


Lord, 

make me remember the life I’ve lived; 

that’s a life I’ll miss 


I’ll never forget, you-made-me-who-I-am (and all I’ve been dealt) 

The same, “who?,” who never HELPED when I was lurking for truth within MYSELF 


Oh, hell. 

Complications in oscillation

is gonna keep on strengthening til my faith isn’t…

BREAKING 


Mmm

Does that not sound amazing, 


an equalization to a life living fruitFUL? 


Oh, 

we got the time to finally discover self & mind in ritual 


Now, isn’t that a-life worth dying for, 


fighting for, 

lie for a lie for, 


it’s what we rise for, 


but why for

an eye-for-an-eye-for (picking up rifles) 


Killing & dying for?????


Semper fi for as long as time records til’ I’m more…. ALIVE FOR 🌹YOU 


Now, why do I get the time that I get? 


Why’s it feel okay if THIS IS the answer in this time spent? (Cherish it) 


Hubris (nah) 

I took the fall 

Humbled, now, I respect it 


That and perspectives 


Ah-ah-ah-ah-ahhh 

Hell-of-a-ride 


and I’ll be damned if I…

Regret in this life 


Oh

Have you ever wondered what it’s like

to be be be be be free ?


These are the lessons 

& these are the progressions that show,

“I love Mmm-mm-mm-mm-Me


I LOVE ME


a rest in peace mentality 


and if yours is hurt along the way

Oh, I’m sorry. 


But no-ooo so-rrys 

for the latters I overcame, 

and for the ones I made 

and the ones I’ve been able to paint with MY pain


Oh, I’m paying, 


thinking I paid enough

(just to find) Oh, I need to continue to break, find faith to reshape myself 


Times I find I’m a little FAKE myself 


Hoping time WILL really change myself 


to a day I find…

I’m fully awake myself 

will save myself 


Ahhh-ah 


Ode to the rains, and reins i pelt (Ah-huh 


that shit MAKES me ME


FLIP the page on my road to E-ter-nity 


and I’m not asking for you to make me any sort of idolatry 


But I can’t help but look, 


and find an ever lasting…

god in me 


Whoa-oh, and if anything, 


I’m PAYING homage to the roads in attempt, 


and the ones I trekked, looking back’s an emotional debt 


(“What’s that mean?”)

Well, to my being 


Without it

could of been a hole in my head 


(“Bitch, 

you need context?”)


Well, bitch, if you was there


you would seen it in the years 

AND EACH YEAR a progress 

UP TO A higher conscious 


that reflects on MY MESS


Oh, yes. 

My mess will reflect in the cost of my…


ignorance 


and the cure is to walk 

stay strong. Here I am again 


A son who walked…


with his faith in MAN (oh, I pray for MAN


and I’d do it again

even at the price for an arm & leg to learn in this,


the common sense


Ahh-ahhh


I’ve been giving them my heart 


Oh, baby, the price is yours

the minute you learning what you fighting for 


What-you fighting for? 


What-you

What-you trying for? 


Baby, what-you 

what-you dying for?


METANOIA…

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